Let's try this again!

Hi There! I can't believe it's been a year since I posted and since I quit my horrible corporate job. I've been technically unemployed this entire time. Don't ask how I'm supporting myself. I'm not really but it's actually been a great year. I've been enjoying sleeping in and doing what I want and searching for alternative ways to make money. Some I can talk about here and some I probably shouldn't. I'm actually enjoying working retail. I enjoy the product and a majority of the people are more than tolerable. Some I try to avoid, but that's OK because since I only work three to four times a week and shifts are only four hours long, it's not too difficult.

So, I suppose I should talk about what's happened this year but really, not much has. Although, I have made one major decision that started in January. I've stopped paying my mortgage. Given that another condo in my development sold (in Foreclosure) for only $35,000 and I owe quite a bit more than that - actually three times that - it just doesn't make sense to keep paying it. I've already lost about $40,000 on the place given what I put down, the extra insurance costs, the association fees and special assessments. It's time for the mortgage company to start losing money on the deal. The end goal is, of course, to keep the place and get a principal reduction but really, how likely is that? Barring that, I guess I'll just live here for free as long as I can and then go rent an apartment that isn't surrounded by little old ladies. If the mortgage company doesn't want to make it make sense for me to stay here, then they can have this $95,000 box and see what they can do with it. I guess if I absolutely loved the place and it was my dream house I would fight more for it, but it's really not. Like I said, I'm surrounded by little old ladies and in the middle of lower class suburbia. I used to live two blocks from the coolest lake in the cities! I could walk to Jamba and Whole Foods and take a 5 minute drive to Trader Joes! Life was just so much more interesting.

I guess the moral issues of not honoring a debt should be discussed but I read a fabulous NYTimes article that made it much easier for me to make this decision. One of the main points is that many people think they have a moral obligation to pay the debt that they freely and willingly signed up for. The writer disagreed with this. He said, people have a contractual obligation to pay their debts. They have a moral obligation to themselves and their own financial future. One of the things I also signed up for is that my money would accrue equity. The mortgage company gets their interest payments and the home owner earns equity. Well, that's not happening and I shouldn't be the only one losing money in this effed up situation of an economy we've got right now. It's not often that I only look out for number one but in this case, it's necessary for my sanity, my happiness and my future.

I'm back!

Yes, I'm back and I'm unemployed again! Surprise, surprise. There's so much to tell, I'm not sure where to start. I left the contractor job in December and started a new job we'll call Plymouth. Just for reference sake. Things started out well. . . wait. No they didn't. Now that it's over, I can see that it felt wrong on the first day. It should have been obvious to me that there were going to be issues when we went to my welcome lunch (at the Chinese buffet - if you can believe it) and they only asked me one question about myself the whole time. The rest was them harshing on people they worked with and trash talking other teams. Ever heard the axiom "Small minds talk about people, average minds talk about things and great minds talk about ideas"? Very apropos in this situation. They had absolutely no interest in learning anything about me. Big boss just wanted to pontificate on his opinions and little boss just wanted to agree with him. This would be indicative of bigger issues to come.

So, what happened? I'll just make a list:

• Working 60 or 70 hours a week was still not enough to get everything done.
• I was on call 24x7 and could expect a call at any time (even on holidays) to deal with site issues.
• We were required to take our computers home every night and weekend and have it with us if we were more than 30 minutes away from home.
• Totally incomplete training and I was just supposed to figure things out and they would tell me when I got it wrong.
• Total misdirection on major projects multiple times. I wasted weeks working on the wrong things.
• I was being blamed for not getting a major project completed even though I planned 6 meetings to discuss it and they were all postponed or canceled by Big Boss and I talked to little boss about the deadline issues repeatedly and followed up with Big Boss many times. Yet somehow, I wasn't taking ownership over the failure and didn't push hard enough.
• I took 2 hours to respond to a phone call question when I was on vacation in San Francisco. This was a major problem for them even though the question was not that urgent.
• I took 15 minutes to respond to a IM from Big Boss because (as I explained to him) I was training our new employee. This was also a major problem. I was supposed to drop everything to work on whatever he deemed important because he was a director.
• Even with all the projects and work to be done, on top of that was having to constantly monitor the weather around North America and interpret how it might effect business, send out communications and talk with locations to prep them. Oh, and they just decided to add Europe to that, too.
• If there were weather issues to deal with, I was not able to get any other work done. Weather issues could take up an entire week, by the way.
• Little boss says I should just learn to deal with the egomaniacal (her term) nature of Big Boss and not let it bother me because he won't change.
• Two part-time college students were starting on Monday and even though Big Boss said he would be sending out a training plan, he hadn't and I knew that it would all fall to little boss and me to get them settled and do everything to train them.

So, last Sunday, I was psyching myself up to go back to work the next day, looking at the massive snow and ice storm hitting Atlanta that I was going to have to deal with, plus all the projects coming at me and the struggles just to get to this point. I suddenly realized that my heart was racing and my hands were shaking. I thought, this is ridiculous! Why am I doing this to myself? I don't like the job, I don't like the people, this isn't the life I want! So, I took the highly unprofessional and easy way out and sent them an email. 10:00 pm on Sunday night I told them that it wasn't working and I wasn't coming back. Give the job to someone who is willing to do the work. No notice, no nothing. I must admit I feel a little guilty about that. But in a way, I don't. It would have been hell to talk to them face-to-face about it. Big Boss manipulates conversations into what he wants and I knew that I wouldn't be able to speak my peace. And then to sit there for two weeks feeling guilty. . . ugh. Forget it. And now the real fun begins. . .

Alphabetical Movie Marathon - Lonesome Dove

Lonesome Dove - This epic 6 hour miniseries deserves it's own post. Let me start by saying that I'm not big on Westerns but for some reason, this film (and it is a film, despite being made for TV) transcends its genres. It's a romance, a buddy film, a tragedy, a Lear-like end-of-life realization, a father-son drama, a coming-of-age adventure. It's just so big and so real and dirty and gritty and hard and painful. I think it touches me because, while all of the main characters are men, most of them are motivated by the women in their lives. Jake goes on the drive because of Lorena, Gus agrees to go because he might see Clare Allen, July goes after Jake because of Peach, changes course to find Almira and finds his new place in the world because of Clare, Woodrow takes in Newt because of the love he can't admit for Maggie. Jake even falls in with the outlaws and eventually gets hanged because he's avoiding a madam trying to get him to clean up a customer she shot. I can enjoy this film because it acknowledges the meaning and importance of women in these men's lives even though they are rough and tumble cowboys off on their last adventure.

The dirtiness of the production design is also very appealing to me. I love dirty movies. Where the hats are worn, the pants dusty and patched, the hair messy, the faces smudged, the horses sweaty and frothy. Its one of the reasons I didn't like The English Patient. Not dirty enough. It's a metaphor for life, in my opinion. Messy, crusty, dirty life. And it takes a lot of work to get that dirt on screen. There are many different stages of dirtiness as well. You can see the deterioration of the clothing as representative of the breaking down of the characters outer shells as the narrative arc progresses. You also see their attempts at putting themselves back together as they reenter more civilized towns. And one of my favorite lines: "Well, he's never been one to quit on a garment just cuz it's got a little age." The characters acknowedge the role that clothing plays in society quite a few times in the dialogue. It's really fascinating.

I may have more to write on this film later.

Alphabetical Movie Marathon - J, K & L1

Julie & Julia - It's cliche to say, I know, but the book was better. Of course, it was, it always is. It was also snarkier and Julie is bitchier and the kitchen is way messier in your head than they made it in the movie. I was sad that they cut the maggots under the dish drainer scene. That being said, I really did enjoy the movie and all it made me want to do is cook with butter. I love foodie movies. I need to look into more of them.

Juno - A Minnesota film. Gotta love it. Ellen Page is so natural and subtle for such a young actress. And like our other J movie, I love the snarkiness and sarcasm. Have to deride it for brushing off the abortion issue but I think the world needs more teen pregnancy movies. And more adoption movies. It could only be a good thing. That scene at the end after she has the baby and her dad talks to her . . . so beautiful and real and touching.

Karate Kid - Classic! Can't get over how much I loved this film as a kid and it's still so good! I can totally relate to the uncool, picked on kid. I never got to find a mentor and beat the crap out of the bullies but it's always good to see the underdog gain the necessary skills and life wisdon to win against the bad guys. Always try to catch flies with my chopsticks when I eat Asian food.

Ladyhawke - An oldie but a goodie. I love the historic era film mixed with the rock-n-roll/synch background music. And it contains my favorite fundamentalist Christain comeback line ever: "I talk to God all the time and, no offence, but he never mentioned you." I'm a big fan of Rutger Hauer as well. There's something very intense and oddly attractive about him.

Labrynth - I'm not as in love with this movie as I was as a kid but I still enjoy the puppetry effects and the sophistication of it for a movie essentially aimed at children. The hands catching her as she falls down the obelisk and talking to her when she stops is so cool. I see it very much like the Broadway version of Lion King. Very complicated symbolism and simple effects that you see right through and know exactly how it was done, but it doesn't matter. It's just so clever that you go with it.

Alphabetical Movie Marathon - H & I

Hangover - I was not thrilled about having to go and see this movie in the theater and was I ever wrong! I love this film. It's very clever and much like 40 Year Old Virgin, it's a guy flick with a heart. Yes, actual emotions are shown and it's a great example of the relationships guy friends have. Very much enjoyed and didn't hesitate to add to the library.

Hope Floats - Thank God for Speed 2 or this movie wouldn't exist. This has always been one of my favorite films. And while I wouldn't say that I'm a huge Sandra Bullock fan, she really is a driving force to making great movies. I wish she'd do more producing. And Harry Connick Jr. is so sexy and nice and smart. The scene at the end where the dad drives away and the daughter is left screaming at the end of the sidewalk. . . ugh, can't even finish that sentence. So emotional for me. Sniff. Moving on.

Henry V - Mmmm, the rightous anger of the tennis ball scene. Gotta love it. I'm not big into the war scenes in this film but as a whole, I do enjoy it. Makes me feel smart to see it on the shelf next to silliness like Mystic Pizza.

Into The Woods - Sondheim genious strikes again. I don't need to go on and on about this musical but it's really clever and quick and challenging. Like all of Sondheim's work.

Immortal Beloved - Wonderful and intense. And Isabella Rosellini, the most beatiful actress ever! The Ode To Joy scene at the end is just so . . . I don't even know what word to use. Another wonder artist at work film.

Job Update

So, yeah, I'm working again. And haven't written in four months. Maybe that's why I'm so miserable. Need to get all the work angst out on paper. And is there ever angst! Ugh. I'm already looking for another opportunity, as they say. The real problem is doing the contractor thing again combined with the boredom. Why am I there? Did they think I would have stuff to do? At this point, I won't actually get to do any real work until Mid-June and even then it won't be much. The real stuff doesn't start until JANUARY!!! Can you believe it? Are they seriously going to pay me to sit around and read the New York Times online for a year? Not if I have anything to say about it, for crap sake. I'll try to write more and maybe it'll help.

Alphabetical Movie Marathon - Christmas Edition

It's snowing like crazy outside so it's time for the Christmas Movie edition of the marathon.

A Charlie Brown Christmas - It's funny how cute and how universal this movie continues to be. I think it really has to do with the music and the lovely Linus on stage telling the true meaning of Christmas part. It doesn't really have much of a plot so it's obviously not the story. A classic and vital part of the Christmas tradition.

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie - This is a little too topical to become a classic but watching Kermit get really frustrated and lose hope is a first for the Muppets, I think. Whoopi Goldberg as God is always awesome and Pepe The Prawn makes me laugh my ass off.

It's A Wonderful Life - People dog this movie as too sacharine but I'm surprised as how truly bitter George is about his entire life, not just at the end when the shit hits the fan. He is very angry the whole time. The scene where he explodes in front of his family and screams at the teacher over the phone is truly frightening. I try to imagine if my husband came home and screamed at the kids for nothing and then took off, what I would do. The ending is sickly sweet but I think it balances the bitterness of the rest of the movie well.

Love Actually - I find this movie rather sad at times. I really enjoy watching it but the lost love stories - Laura Linney and Emma Thompson especially - that really get to me. You so want Laura Linney to get together with the hot guy and it just doesn't happen. Bill Nighy always makes me laugh in a truly naughty way so this will continue to be one of my favorites. I didn't really like it at first but with repeated viewings, it has ingrained itself in me.

The Nightmare Before Christmas - I always think of this a Halloween movie and it's not one of my favorites at Christmas time but it's a joy to watch anyway. I love how animation can capture with live action just simply cannot. You can be nasty and talk about killing Santa if you're a little goblin.

Scrooged - Oh my God, Carol Kane kills me in this! "Some times you have to slap them in the face to get their attention!" I could watch her scenes over and over again. And it's just a clever retelling of the Dickens story. Whereas so many others get sickly sweet, this one really avoids it. And that's due to Bill Murray's genious comedy and nastiness.

Trading Places - Yes, this is actually a Christmas movie. Most people forget that. Jamie Lee Curtis really makes this movie for me as she is the ultimate hooker with a heart. And good business sense. The scenes with Aykroyd and Murphy together are my favorite. They're a great foil for each other.

White Christmas - The penultimate Christmas movie in my opinion. Why do I love this movie so much? No kids! No family! No cliche transformation of a bad attitude! It's just a love story about performers who get together to try and do something nice for someone who is important to them. I want to be Rosemary Clooney in that black dress with the rhinestone broach on the butt! And again at the end in that red dress with the white fur trim! The costumes in this movie are fantastic. Edith Head I believe. The songs are fantastic, the dancing is amazing, the business between Kaye and Crosby in the dressing room scene is a master class. It's got a ton of exposition but it's not heavy or dragged down with dialogue. I shall forever use "Give me one good reason . . . " "Well, it's not good but it's a reason." and "Like honesty needs a little plus, fate needs a little push." A must see every year.